Friday, February 14, 2014

15 Romantic Comedies for Guys (and then some)

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone.

I'm breaking hiatus for a brief spell 'cause 'tis the season for this article I wrote a while ago, but sat on during a busy summer and didn't do anything about. So, I decided to revisit for the heck of it because...

I can't stand most romantic comedies.

Let's face it: If you're male and you're seeing a film with a significant other (presumably of the opposite sex - I'm just making a point), there's generally no other genre that's a bigger turn-off than one that's a blatantly marketed "Romantic Comedy". As one who's endured with a lady-friend his share of headache-inducing Reese Witherspoon romps, or anything with Jennifer Aniston smiling on the cover, some culturally-savvy dudes of my ilk and I have realized that the problem isn't the marketing, it's the fact that this is a tired genre that recycles the same conventions or plots and wraps them up in an attractive packaging. The "Rom-Com" is the cinematic equivalent of a cupcake: Neat, sweet, petite, full of different varieties and flavors, but ultimately and obviously, the same old sugary fluff. Woe to the men who admirably sacrifice their precious time and money (but obviously refuse to admit it).

Fortunately gents, there is hope, yet. I am in no way paid to do this, but because the general topic of entertainment interests me, it occurred to me that said films of this article's namesake are a rare breed. Yet somehow, I've amassed a collection of some less-popular "Rom-Com"s without even realizing it. Additionally, because I happen to have a lot of cynical guy-friends, I have written this as if I were addressing them, directly. So, do mind the brash tone.

These are in no particular order of preference (except maybe alphabetical). I hope you enjoy them, or at least, have expanded your horizons a bit with my opinion (and maybe something to liven up the Netflix queue).



1. (500) Days of Summer (2009)

 http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/d/d1/Five_hundred_days_of_summer.jpg

What's in it for me?: Right from the get-go, this achieves what few Rom-Coms do - tells the story exclusively and accurately from the guy's perspective. Also, our hero is a huge romantic pessimist; something a lot of us can relate to. My only issue is Zooey Deschanel is not portrayed in the kindest of lights

What's in it for her?:
Most girls I know who grew up in the 90s will remember JGL from NBC's "Third Rock". The marketing's also fairly innocuous, and if she's open-minded, she'll appreciate the shift in perspective.

I'm still not convinced:
Okay, well...do you like quirky soundtracks headlined by indie-darling/Kimya-Dawson-soundalike Regina Spektor? Also, this doesn't have a happy, but rather, an ambiguous ending. enough to differentiate it and make it refreshing for me.



2. Annie Hall (1977)

 http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/e/e6/Anniehallposter.jpg

What's in it for me?: It's a classic, it's Woody Allen hilariously trying to pick up younger women, it reaches out to the nebbish in all of us. In other words - even if you're a total loser, it's not the end of the world.

What's in it for her?:
Again, it's a classic. Diane Keaton is appealing with her quirky, feminist wiles.  Also, if your lady's from New York, she can finally contribute to dinner conversation after her parents mayhaps have been pestering her to see it.

I'm still not convinced:
It beat Star Wars for Best Picture at the Oscars. If that doesn't make you bitter, at least check it out and make an opinion.



3. An American Werewolf in London (1981)


http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/e/e5/An_American_Werewolf_in_London_poster.jpg

What's in it for me?
:
Blood, gore, latex werewolves, scantily-clad women. Obviously not marketed like a Rom-Com, but really funny and with an unexpectedly-central love story.

What's in it for her?:
Pretty English scenery as well as London proper that will satisfy the Anglophile in anyone. Also, enough jump-scares without being overly-scary, because it's padded out with some great humor

I'm still not convinced:
It's from the guy who directed Animal House and Blues Brothers, so it has to be funny. Right?



4. Broadcast News (1987)

 http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/5/59/Broadcast_News.jpg

What's in it for me?: The two male leads will appeal to either demographic - the tough, handsome jerk who wants to be taken seriously, or the nerdy wimp who also wants to be taken seriously.

What's in it for her?:
Holly Hunter is awesome as a bossy, romantically-frustrated news producer. Who doesn't like seeing a woman in charge (in 2014)?

I'm still not convinced:
James L. Brooks basically took the tired Rom-Com formula and re-wrote it into something intelligent and compelling. In other words - he gave the stock characters actual souls. Also, seven Oscar nominations including Best Picture.



5. Chasing Amy (1997)

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/c/ca/Chasing_Amy_film.jpg

 What's in it for me?: I could've easily recommended anything else by Kevin Smith, but I find this one his most dramatically compelling. It's more than just about a guy who falls in love with a lesbian, even though that's basically the pitch. Also, the main character's a comic book artist - Smith is an un-closeted geek, after all.

What's in it for her?:
A strong, main female character who doesn't take crap from anyone. The brutal honesty of the characters in this one is so strong, it almost hurts.

I'm still not convinced:
...Then watch Clerks. Kevin Smith is not for everyone, but it'd be a shame if you're a fan, or from New Jersey and haven't done so already.



6. Garden State (2004)

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/3/3c/Garden_State_Poster.jpg

What's in it for me?: I consider it a precursor to (500) Days of Summer as it's told from the guy's perspective, and accurately to boot. Also, it's not blatantly marketed as a Rom-Com, but rather gradually develops into one as a story. A strong contender as my generation's answer to The Graduate

What's in it for her?:
  Zach Braff's quirky brand of humor that's sensitive enough for her but refreshing inoffensive and unpretentious.

I'm still not convinced:
Are you from New Jersey? Have you heard the awesome soundtrack? Are you that cynical about taste that I should label you a hipster? This is like, THE hipster movie of last decade. Sheesh...



7. The Graduate (1967)

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/8/8b/Graduateposter67.jpg

What's in it for me?
:
Mrs. Robinson, the original MILF, portrayed amazingly by the late Anne Bancroft (aka "Mrs. Mel Brooks" - Mel is a lucky guy). Even snobby hipsters I knew would (figuratively) curl up into a fetal position and suck their thumbs at the sight or mention of The Graduate. Also, you can't get any more compelling than a young, dorky Dustin Hoffman.

What's in it for her?:
Perhaps for the same reasons above (striking the MILF-part), but otherwise Katharine Ross's portrayal of love interest Elaine Robinson is a great example of a confused young girl, living in the shadow of her domineering parents who gradually becomes more independent for her own good.

I'm still not convinced:
Well, too bad. You're missing out on a significant piece of modern American pop-culture. Does it pique your curiosity in the slightest how much The Graduate had an impact on the Baby Boomers (who I presume may be your parents generation, as are mine)? At least watch it for the impeccably-integrated Simon and Garfunkel soundtrack.



8. In Bruges (2008)

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/6/63/In_Bruges_Poster.jpg

What's in it for me?: Ok, I'm stretching it with this one, but the love story's a significant aspect of this otherwise dark, twisted, fish-out-of-water, gangster-comedy about an Anglo-Irish hitman who happens to meet a cute, blonde, Belgian drug dealer while hiding out in...the film's namesake. There's bloodshed, shootouts, midgets, and I personally think it's not only well-written drama, but hilarious.

What's in it for her?:
Colin Farrell and pretty medieval Belgian scenery. Need I say more?

I'm still not convinced:
Everyone I know who I've recommended this one to thought it was hilarious, just watch the trailer on YouTube. Otherwise, I presume you must dislike British cinema. Relax, just turn on the subtitles if you can't understand it.



9. It Happened One Night (1934)
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/4/40/Gable_ithapponepm_poster.jpg

What's in it for me?
:
Here's the granddaddy of all rom-coms, and it still holds up as a good film, too. Clark Gable pioneered the rake telling the spoiled girl who's boss (and falling in love with her, at the same time). This film, at the zeitgeist of it's ilk, gets screwball comedy right; something that's sorely lacking in it's modern successors.

What's in it for her?:
I hope she likes old films, or else this might be a tough sell. Do I have to get on my soapbox and yell at people to appreciate the classics?

I'm still not convinced:
It's the first film to win all five major Oscars. If a film could accomplish such a thing back then, than it must be good, no? Sure beats slogging through four hours of Gone With the Wind if Golden Age classics are on the queue for the weekend.


 
10. Metropolitan (1990)

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/4/45/Metropolitan-poster.jpg

What's in it for me?
:
This is a "rom-com" for intellectuals - It's a no-frills, witty look at New York's social upper crust. And let's face it: Rich people have just as much problems as the rest of us do. The male lead is endearing in a Gatsby-esque way, too.

What's in it for her?:
If she's into classic "chick-lit", she'll appreciate all the obvious nods to Jane Austen novels.

I'm still not convinced:
Then don't watch it, it's too highbrow for the likes of you (see one of the "Honorable Mentions" below, instead).



11. My Cousin Vinny (1992)
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/7/76/My-Cousin-Vinny-Poster.jpg

What's in it for me?: If you go to law school, chances are, not a year goes by without this gem being quoted - Yes, it's mainly set in court, but funny-guy Joe Pesci's chemistry with his equally flashy, loudmouthed girlfriend (played by Marisa Tomei, in an Oscar-winning performance) are what make this worth watching in the first place.

What's in it for her?:
Marisa Tomei has an empowering character arc where her unexpected expertise in automobile engines comes into play. In other words; she's sexy, she knows it, and she's probably smarter than you. Karate Kid Ralph Macchio plays...Vinny's cousin.

I'm still not convinced:
You really think there's a better legal comedy that happens to be a "Rom-Com"? Let me guess: Legally Blonde?? Okay...



12. Roman Holiday (1953)
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/b/b7/Roman_holiday.jpg

What's in it for me?: Gregory Peck plays a maverick reporter who falls in love with an incognito, runaway Princess (Audrey Hepburn). It's told mainly through his perspective, and does the job in the good, old-fashioned, no frills-kinda way. The screenplay is also very competently-written and doesn't offer the most ideal ending - rather, a more realistic one.

What's in it for her?:
Audrey Hepburn in her debut performance, being cute, girly, and all that stuff. Also, some pretty Roman scenery.

I'm still not convinced:
Meh, I guess old movies aren't your thing. No sex or violence here; it's more for the patient-types. Move along...



13. Shaun of the Dead (2004)

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/e/ec/Shaun-of-the-dead.jpg

What's in it for me?
:
Blood, gore, zombies, parody. It's a great parade of the undead through London as Shaun tries to patch things up with his ex Liz. Some of the film's best comedy comes from the intentionally hackneyed bantering that goes on between Shaun and Liz.

What's in it for her?
: IF she's not into the bloody stuff (it gets worse towards the end), at least she'll probably laugh at it, and if she's into British humor.

I'm still not convinced:
In case you failed to notice, the poster says "A Romantic Comedy, with zombies." C'mon, are you sold?



14. Silver Linings Playbook (2012)
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/9/9a/Silver_Linings_Playbook_Poster.jpg

What's in it for me?
:
Easily a more post-modern rendition of the romantic comedy about a recently-released mental patient trying to find his "silver lining" with his new lease on life. Along the way, he befriends the village bicycle (Jennifer Lawrence) who ends up becoming more than just a "friend with an 'F'." Plus, it's got gambling, football, and a strong inspirational message that transcends any genre.

What's in it for her?:
Jennifer Lawrence has more cojones in this film than Bradley Cooper and Robert De Niro, combined! How's that for empowerment?

I'm still not convinced:
Are you into psychiatry? The Philadelphia Eagles? Philly in general?? Otherwise, stay far away, Mr. Scrooge.



15. Ted (2012)
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/6/62/Ted_poster.jpg

What's in it for me?
:
I may be stretching this one, too, but at the center of the story is a guy, his girl and his best friend, who happens to be a talking, CGI teddy bear. This is a creative play on the "bromance v. romance" parable that has Seth MacFarlane's usual lowbrow humor thrown in for good measure.

What's in it for her?:
Mila Kunis doesn't take bull from anyone in this film. Otherwise, her performance as the straight female lead is a nice refresher from the otherwise unremarkable female characters in the film.

I'm still not convinced:
Well, it's from the creator of Family Guy, so if you like that, you should know what you're getting yourself into.



I refuse to watch any of these, what else could there possibly be out there?? Okay, fine, then how about...



Mr. & Mrs. Smith
(2005)

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/b/b4/Mr_and_mrs_smith_poster.jpg

What's in it for me?: Your three basic film needs - Angelina Jolie (hot), guns (make things go "boom"), Brad Pitt (the guy we all aspire to be).

What's in it for her?:
Her three basic film needs - Brad Pitt (to look at while we look at Angie), guns (a reason to get you - or both of you - to watch something), Angelina Jolie (what can I say? I talk to a lot of women who consider her the quintessential 21st century feminist - everyone needs a role model).

I'm still not convinced:
Really? I give you an action movie and you turn it down? With all due respect, what kind of guy are you?? I guess your significant other must wear the pants in the relationship. Fair enough!

Honorable Mentions: Jerry Maguire, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Knocked Up, There's Something About Mary, The 40 Year-Old Virgin, Robin Hood: Men In Tights, The Wedding Singer, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, Shrek, When Harry Met Sally, Wedding Crashers, Juno, Meet the Parents, High Fidelity.

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

On Hiatus!

Dear friends,

In case you're wondering where I've been for the past few months, I'm taking a break from blogging until I can figure out how to get it monetized through Google. I welcome any thoughts or suggestions, but I promise once I get it going, you'll see a slew of reviews and musings that are a little outdated, but well worth the wait.

Thank you,
- Jon

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Please Support: Make Me Normal

This is an exciting new documentary, directed by the wonderful Mitch McCabe (Make Me Young: Youth Knows No Pain). Cool "perks" come in exchange for contributions.

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Please support "How To Destroy Civilization" on Kickstarter!



This is a graphic novel, in the process of being put together by two friends of mine. Please consider making a contribution to their cause. Thanks!

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

MOVIE REVIEW: Silver Linings Playbook (2012)

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/9/9a/Silver_Linings_Playbook_Poster.jpg

Amidst the clusterfwagh (sic) that has been finals week in law school, I deservedly take my evening off to watch movies. Although I'm only one down, and three to go, I feel pretty good right now (although it's probably because Criminal Procedure is depressing, and I'm just happy to be done). What you ask was on my docket this evening? None other than 2012's rom-com Oscar darling Silver Linings Playbook. A rather ordinary by-the-books story, but one that's populated with some extraordinary characters and stellar production values.

Former high-school teacher Pat Solitano is fresh out of a Baltimore mental hospital for a violent incident involving his less-than-faithful wife. As a result, he's lost his job, his home, and is estranged from his wife. Moving back in with his hapless mother and overly-superstitious, Eagles-superfan father, Pat sets out to find the "silver linings" in life's difficulties as he makes it his mission to reconcile with his wife. Although a generally optimistic guy, Pat struggles to cope with his bipolar disorder; throwing fits over trivialities like the endings of Hemingway novels, dealing anger management, and his biggest pet peeve: Stevie Wonder's "Ma Cherie Amour". A chance dinner-date at an old friend's house introduces Pat to his friend's sister-in-law, Tiffany, a young, widow suffering from clinical depression and recently-unemployed due to her chronic nymphomania with co-workers. She agrees to help Pat re-connect with his wife, in exchange for entering a dance competition as her partner. Things are further complicated though, by Pat's family obligations.

Playbook is one of those films that falls comfortably in the "quirky" category, but all the characters come off so naturally thanks to David O. Russell's stellar, and improvisation-fueled direction. The leads are irresistibly charismatic. Bradley Cooper, is finally given a chance to show some dramatic range, and allows the audience to establish strong empathy with Pat. It's a great career milestone for a trained actor who was originally known for going to Vegas, stealing Mike Tyson's tiger, and kidnapping a naked Ken Jeong.

And then there's Jennifer Lawrence. Ladies and gentleman, America has a new "sweetheart", and it's come in the form of a curvy, husky-voiced blonde from Kentucky with a hint of social-awkwardness that only makes her verisimilitude shine through her newfound Hollywood trappings. As the film's sole Oscar win, I guess it's fairly deserved for a then-21 year-old who was given a role, several years more mature than her. Still, Lawrence carries Tiffany with great deadpan comic timing and amazing vulnerability that she almost flips like a switch. Her brash, assertive attitude with moments of unanticipated intelligence evoke memories of Marisa Tomei in My Cousin Vinny. For the record, I was originally rooting for Jessica Chastain with an upset by Emmanuelle Riva, but after watching, I can see why she became the award-season favorite.

Playbook has touches of melodrama that may potentially annoy some more hardened viewers, such as it's ending. Compared to the book, it also deviates quite a bit from the source material, as far as I can tell. Other than that, I enjoyed Playbook; it's nothing we haven't seen before in terms of the general story, but rather a rare instance of a romantic comedy that doesn't insult my intelligence by demonstrating enough realism, honesty and humor to come off as credible. Could I possibly nitpick anything else? Well...there's the Philadelphia Eagles...haha. Sorry, I'm actually a New York Giants fan. But, whatever...

8/10

Peace,
- Jon

Sunday, March 24, 2013

MOVIE REVIEW: Olympus Has Fallen (2013)



http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/b/bf/Olympus_Has_Fallen_poster.jpg

Olympus Has Fallen is everything A Good Day to Die Hard should have been, but sadly was not the case. John McClane could have easily been written in as the main character, complete with his one-liners, and we would've had one of the better films in the series. The comparison is glaringly obvious, because Olympus has been marketed to death as being basically Die Hard in the White House, just as much as Air Force One was Die Hard on a plane. Here, the audience is taken on an incendiary, bullet-riddled tour of the Executive Mansion, and it's crawling with America's latest fear - North Korean terrorists. While the film is marred by being one of the better Die Hard clones, a little suspension of disbelief towards the expected logic holes will leave you in for a fun ride.

Secret Service Agent Banning (who's a dead ringer for Syphon Filter's Gabe Logan) is working a mundane desk job in Treasury security, after the First Lady dies in a tragic accident under his command. The day after Independence Day, his best friend, the President, is hosting the South Korean Prime Minister to discuss protection from their tension-risen North neighbors. Eventually, all hell breaks loose when a Secret Service double-agent and a contingent of North Korean terrorists attack the White House, capture the Executive Branch and the Prime Minister, and wipe out a number of pedestrians and law enforcement on Pennsylvania Avenue faster than you can say "Oppa Gangnam Style." Alerted first-hand to the chaos, Banning infiltrates the White House, and maintains contact with the Speaker - now the Acting President. Holding the President hostage, the terrorist leader begins to torture his staff for clearance codes, leading to a more harrowing scheme than mere ransom. When the threat becomes a race against time, Banning not only sees this as an opportunity to save the President, but redemption as well.

Anyone looking for authenticity in Olympus will be sorely disappointed (and I would laugh); there is no possible way anything like this could happen in real life, unless I'm mistaken and the whole thing was actually directed by Kathryn Bigelow, complete with CIA clearance. Let's face it: It's just an action film. Once you get past that bitter herb of truth, the rest of it's gravy. The opening attack is shockingly brutal; landmarks are desecrated and there's bloodshed aplenty. Performances are stellar, especially with the veteran supporting cast. The action is fairly relentless, some fight scenes are a little under-choreographed, but the brutality makes up for it. When the film shifts gears towards Banning's race against time, all expectations go out the window as you're drawn to the edge of your seat. So ultimately, while the story's nothing new, I welcome anything with a high-concept like "Die Hard in the White House," simply because you know what to expect while watching it. Where Olympus delivers in action and thrills, that's where it succeeds with brio.

And at any rate, it looks like June's White House Down is going to have some big shoes to fill.

8/10

Peace,
- Jon

Sunday, February 17, 2013

MOVIE REVIEW: A Good Day to Die Hard (2013)

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/1/19/A_Good_Day_to_Die_Hard.jpg

Okay, so, it appears I may not exactly be in agreement with the general consensus who believes John McClane's 5th installment: A Good Day to Die Hard is a complete disaster, but it was a fun way to spend an afternoon. The reality of the matter is, the film is a fairly ordinary action picture that brings nothing new to the table, save for some flashy action sequences. Add some daddy-issues to the mix and you've got some cinematic vodka with a forgettable aftertaste.

Some time after his last adventure, John McClane is in Moscow, expecting to see his son after a fiasco has landed him in court. Unfortunately for both of them, terrorists attack the courthouse, leading McClane Sr. in pursuit of Jr. He then discovers Jack is actually involved with the CIA, charged with protecting one of the terrorists. Eventually, they are led to Chernobyl, where they stumble upon a scheme to unearth billions of dollars vaulted away in an abandoned warehouse - the expected pyrotechnics ensuing.

It could have honestly been any other nondescript action movie, but it just happens to have the Die Hard monniker attached to it. There's nothing particularly ground-breaking or exciting that this film brings to the series, save for one decent car chase and a guy getting killed by helicopter rotors. Bruce Willis is even lacking his memorable spate of one-liners, reduced to a tired running gag where he spats some variation of "I'm on vacation" whenever given the chance. Much of the plot isn't very coherent, but then again, it probably wasn't meant to be.

It's a rather odd scenario when your PG-13 predecessor happened to be a much better movie, and didn't need much of the excesses that this one is dependent on. Off the top of my head: CGI and nearly every Russian stereotype from St. Petersburg to Siberia. Even still, if the screenwriter actually did his homework, he'd realize that Chernobyl is actually in the Ukraine, and a 12-hour drive from Moscow that McClane and son seem to accomplish within an evening. For what it's worth, Die Hard 5 is probably a rental at best, unless you're a fan with relatively tempered expectations.

5/10

Peace,
- Jon