MOVIE REVIEW: A Good Day to Die Hard (2013)

Okay, so, it appears I may not exactly be in agreement with the general consensus who believes John McClane's 5th installment: A Good Day to Die Hard is a complete disaster, but it was a fun way to spend an afternoon. The reality of the matter is, the film is a fairly ordinary action picture that brings nothing new to the table, save for some flashy action sequences. Add some daddy-issues to the mix and you've got some cinematic vodka with a forgettable aftertaste.

Some time after his last adventure, John McClane is in Moscow, expecting to see his son after a fiasco has landed him in court. Unfortunately for both of them, terrorists attack the courthouse, leading McClane Sr. in pursuit of Jr. He then discovers Jack is actually involved with the CIA, charged with protecting one of the terrorists. Eventually, they are led to Chernobyl, where they stumble upon a scheme to unearth billions of dollars vaulted away in an abandoned warehouse - the expected pyrotechnics ensuing.

It could have honestly been any other nondescript action movie, but it just happens to have the Die Hard monniker attached to it. There's nothing particularly ground-breaking or exciting that this film brings to the series, save for one decent car chase and a guy getting killed by helicopter rotors. Bruce Willis is even lacking his memorable spate of one-liners, reduced to a tired running gag where he spats some variation of "I'm on vacation" whenever given the chance. Much of the plot isn't very coherent, but then again, it probably wasn't meant to be.

It's a rather odd scenario when your PG-13 predecessor happened to be a much better movie, and didn't need much of the excesses that this one is dependent on. Off the top of my head: CGI and nearly every Russian stereotype from St. Petersburg to Siberia. Even still, if the screenwriter actually did his homework, he'd realize that Chernobyl is actually in the Ukraine, and a 12-hour drive from Moscow that McClane and son seem to accomplish within an evening. For what it's worth, Die Hard 5 is probably a rental at best, unless you're a fan with relatively tempered expectations.

5/10

Peace,
- Jon

MOVIE REVIEW: The Last Stand (2013)

Ah, Ahnuld, how the mighty have fallen in the past couple years. Yet while I objectively consider his personal convictions reprehensible, he still knows how to sell me a good action picture. Call me a sucker, but even Snooki has her fervent admirers; I simply pick and choose what is entertaining to me, regardless of what a person's lifestyle dictates. Enter The Last Stand, Arnold Schwarzenegger's latest action picture that's a goofy send-up of what I inferred was high-concept, Die Hard rip-offs that permeated the early 90s. It's nothing groundbreaking, but will fit the bill for those going in who know what to expect.

Ray Owens is a beat-down sheriff of a small, Texas town. When a Mexican drug cartel invades with a cutting-edge, high speed sports car, capable of transcending the border at an incredible rate, Owens needs to band together a ramshackle group of deputies when the FBI leaves them hanging dry in order to take them down.

This is your typical burger-and-fries action picture; I could have honestly waited for this on Blu-Ray with a hackneyed plot that didn't bring anything new to the table; avenging fallen comrades, retribution for past wrongs, and greedy turncoat double-agents, Arnold barely even gives any memorable one-liners. Much of the first half of the movie is pretty meh, but things pick up in spades when the big action spectacle begins. The action delivers in the most over-the-top fashion - bodies are blown apart, a peeved old lady ices a thug with a Colt .45, and there's a lot of the usual, "Jackass" physical humor from Johnny Knoxville. I had a lot of fun watching it for what it was as a casual action fan, everyone else may just want to stick with renting.

6/10

Peace,

MOVIE REVIEW: Zero Dark Thirty (2012)

Ten years ago, Kathryn Bigelow was known for some cult horror films, big-budget flops, Point Break, and being the ex-wife of James Cameron. In 2009, she sent Hollywood afire with the Iraq war-themed Hurt Locker, which won the Academy Award for Best Picture and giving her the distinction of being the first woman to win Best Director - both prizes were even lost by her ex, Cameron, for his work on the ambitious, sci-fi epic Avatar. Three years later, followed by lots of research and ensuing controversy, Bigelow returns with Zero Dark Thirty, an incendiary account of the CIA agent who spent ten years locating the hideout of the new millennium terrorist-at-large, Osama Bin Laden, and the ensuing Navy SEAL operation.

Zero Dark Thirty opens up with a black tableau, solely portraying audio of the 9/11 attacks. Two years later, rookie CIA agent, only known to the audience as "Maya," is brought in to assist with the interrogation of a terrorist, but questions the ethics in which her supervisor handles the punishment. Jessica Chastain delivers a wonderful performance that evokes memories of watching Sigourney Weaver and Jodie Foster in their landmark, '80s roles. As Maya works her way through the annals of CIA information, we are treated to a mystery that unravels like a ball of yarn over the course of two-and-a-half-hours. The investigation begins to visibly affect Maya's social relationships - colleagues are killed, bridges are burnt. She also struggles to convince her male superiors of a huge lead discovered in Pakistan - likely Bigelow's subtle attempt at injecting a strong feminist theme. Eventually, once the writing's on the wall, the story shifts to the fateful SEAL Operation, and becomes the most tense thirty minutes I've seen in a film, yet so far.

In many ways, Zero Dark Thirty is like the "sister" film to it's "brother" Hurt Locker; both explore themes of committed government employees who bear huge responsibilities at the sacrifice of a normal life and a job that constantly challenges their emotions and personal morals. It's no question that Bigelow is a pro at this sort of drama; all the while presenting it in a straightforward, docudrama-like format that evokes the early works of Scorsese. For many, Zero will be a hard pill to swallow - it's a long movie that runs at a brisk pace, but is saturated in Pro-Americanism (warts and all) and entertaining to at the very least, spy film aficionados and political buffs (in other words, my grandmother would be bored or repulsed out of her mind). Regardless, this is living history on celluloid. The controversy regarding the sources where screenwriter Mark Boal drew his sources from may have neutered it's Oscar chances, but it's an important film, and certainly one of the year's best.

9/10

Peace.