MOVIE REVIEW: The Expendables 2 (2012)

In 2010, Sylvester Stallone unleashed every fanboy's testosterone-infused paradise upon the world - The Expendables: A no-holds, ensemble action tribute to the ultra-violent 80s serials, featuring many big names in the genre. It's easily a dude's answer to Sex and the City. While a fun film, I felt it needed a little extra *oomph* in the action sequences and less of the banal, double-digit IQ verbal exchanges. Two years later, Stallone somehow answered my nitpicky criticisms with The Expendables 2 a rare instance of a sequel that bests the original in every way possible. The coup de grâce (and I'm not ashamed of SPOILING this) being a trifecta shootout in the finale with the owners of Planet Hollywood themselves:

If this scene doesn't convince you to see the film, then I don't know what will. I'm convinced at least half the American male population has been waiting for this moment in film history.

And then, there's Chuck Norris (cue: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly theme):



...need I say more? The man appears in two scenes, but they're a killer (pun absolutely intended).

Now, onto the plot - Without elaborating too much (because honestly, who watches these films for plot?), Sly gets together the old gang once again to take on what is supposedly an "easy job" somewhere in the deserted mining towns of Albania. The mercenaries excursion goes fine until their newest and youngest recruit is ruthlessly whacked by Jean-Claude "The Muscles from Brussels" Van Damme, himself. Fixated on revenge (and wanting the item they came looking for, now stolen by Van Damme), the mercs go to town by doing what they do best - shooting first, and asking questions later. Ironically, violence is the answer to all their problems in this bullet-riddled fantasy.

This sequel has a lot going for it. Aside from the new cast members, the action is easily doubled from the first film, and the one-liners are much more in-tune with the stylings of Governor Schwarzenegger's work in the late-1980s. There's even a few nods to every cast member's previous works, typically in the dialogue. Moreover, I got a better sense of adventure, and even...um...character development than the first film. Sure, Expendables 2 isn't going to win any Academy Awards (at least in the artistic categories), but I'm sure that's not why people would go see it in the first place. I'm happy to say that as an action film, it was one of my favorites of the year, and it was nice to see the summer movie season of 2012 go out with a bang, in both senses of the word.

8/10

Peace,
- Jon

Food for thought: Lean Greek Pita Chicken Wraps

Greek food is one of the healthiest cuisines in the world. (just Google that last sentence if you don't believe me) It is also among the easiest to replicate. So I tried something other-than-a-sandwich for lunch while at home the other day, and I think it worked out quite nicely:

1 pita wrap or disc (plain or baked is optional)

1 grilled chicken breast (marinade is optional)

1/2 a tomato

A handful of salad greens

2 spoonfuls of tzatziki sauce or Trader Joe's cilantro & chive yogurt dip

Any other vegetables of your choice (optional)


Slice the chicken into thin strips. Dice the tomato into cubes. Spread the sauce/dip over the pita. Add the salad greens, chicken, and tomato. Feel free to add more vegetables but be careful not to overload the wrap.

If you buy everything pre-prepared, you can have this little bit of awesome on your plate in under 10 minutes.

Mangia!
- Jon

MOVIE REVIEW: The Campaign (2012)

At a brisk 85 minutes, The Campaign feels much like an afterthought written to cash in on the upcoming presidential election. The impeccable timing is certainly an asset; it's extriniscally a safe business move for the producers and keeps the audiences interested, although years from now, the political rifts or plot context may date themselves. It's not up to me to predict the future, but looking within the moment, the film touches on (or rather, spoofs) a lot of current issues in political campaigning, and is supported by some wonderfully zany performances by Will Ferrell and Zack Galfinakis alike. While not groundbreaking and rather juvenile, The Campaign is a fun romp, and those especially with a penchant for politics will find it enjoyable.

Democratic Representative Cam Brady of North Carolina is charismatic, well-groomed, and everything limousine liberal politicians are hated for (hypocrisy, adultery, etc.). Of course, he's kept a good job of hiding the skeletons in his closet, until he finds himself challenged by Republican tour guide and devout Christian, Marty Huggins. Backed by his wealthy father, a smooth campaign manager (played wonderfully by Dylan McDermott) and two corrupt businessmen who want to use his newfound clout to bring Chinese industry to NC. But as Marty plays dirty politics, and Cam's personal life spins out of control, the Huggins' begin to suffer the effects of negative media scrutiny. Just like in real life, we don't know for long until election day rolls around, and the fates decide who ultimately gets the job.

There's a lot to like about The Campaign, and I feel like it's biggest selling point is the prodding it makes at the absurd state of politics in America right now. However, a lot of it is Ferrell and Galfinakis' usual brand of sophomoric, obnoxious humor. Some may already find it getting long in the tooth. Others, especially those who are fans of Funny or Die should feel right at home. As one who also appreciates meta-fiction, it was fun to see renowned news figures make cameos to provide their two cents on the candidates antics. Overall, it's a fun film, but realize what you're getting yourself into, should you decide to see it.

7/10

Peace,
- Jon