MOVIE REVIEW: The Expendables 2 (2012)

In 2010, Sylvester Stallone unleashed every fanboy's testosterone-infused paradise upon the world - The Expendables: A no-holds, ensemble action tribute to the ultra-violent 80s serials, featuring many big names in the genre. It's easily a dude's answer to Sex and the City. While a fun film, I felt it needed a little extra *oomph* in the action sequences and less of the banal, double-digit IQ verbal exchanges. Two years later, Stallone somehow answered my nitpicky criticisms with The Expendables 2 a rare instance of a sequel that bests the original in every way possible. The coup de grâce (and I'm not ashamed of SPOILING this) being a trifecta shootout in the finale with the owners of Planet Hollywood themselves:

If this scene doesn't convince you to see the film, then I don't know what will. I'm convinced at least half the American male population has been waiting for this moment in film history.

And then, there's Chuck Norris (cue: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly theme):



...need I say more? The man appears in two scenes, but they're a killer (pun absolutely intended).

Now, onto the plot - Without elaborating too much (because honestly, who watches these films for plot?), Sly gets together the old gang once again to take on what is supposedly an "easy job" somewhere in the deserted mining towns of Albania. The mercenaries excursion goes fine until their newest and youngest recruit is ruthlessly whacked by Jean-Claude "The Muscles from Brussels" Van Damme, himself. Fixated on revenge (and wanting the item they came looking for, now stolen by Van Damme), the mercs go to town by doing what they do best - shooting first, and asking questions later. Ironically, violence is the answer to all their problems in this bullet-riddled fantasy.

This sequel has a lot going for it. Aside from the new cast members, the action is easily doubled from the first film, and the one-liners are much more in-tune with the stylings of Governor Schwarzenegger's work in the late-1980s. There's even a few nods to every cast member's previous works, typically in the dialogue. Moreover, I got a better sense of adventure, and even...um...character development than the first film. Sure, Expendables 2 isn't going to win any Academy Awards (at least in the artistic categories), but I'm sure that's not why people would go see it in the first place. I'm happy to say that as an action film, it was one of my favorites of the year, and it was nice to see the summer movie season of 2012 go out with a bang, in both senses of the word.

8/10

Peace,
- Jon

Food for thought: Lean Greek Pita Chicken Wraps

Greek food is one of the healthiest cuisines in the world. (just Google that last sentence if you don't believe me) It is also among the easiest to replicate. So I tried something other-than-a-sandwich for lunch while at home the other day, and I think it worked out quite nicely:

1 pita wrap or disc (plain or baked is optional)

1 grilled chicken breast (marinade is optional)

1/2 a tomato

A handful of salad greens

2 spoonfuls of tzatziki sauce or Trader Joe's cilantro & chive yogurt dip

Any other vegetables of your choice (optional)


Slice the chicken into thin strips. Dice the tomato into cubes. Spread the sauce/dip over the pita. Add the salad greens, chicken, and tomato. Feel free to add more vegetables but be careful not to overload the wrap.

If you buy everything pre-prepared, you can have this little bit of awesome on your plate in under 10 minutes.

Mangia!
- Jon

MOVIE REVIEW: The Campaign (2012)

At a brisk 85 minutes, The Campaign feels much like an afterthought written to cash in on the upcoming presidential election. The impeccable timing is certainly an asset; it's extriniscally a safe business move for the producers and keeps the audiences interested, although years from now, the political rifts or plot context may date themselves. It's not up to me to predict the future, but looking within the moment, the film touches on (or rather, spoofs) a lot of current issues in political campaigning, and is supported by some wonderfully zany performances by Will Ferrell and Zack Galfinakis alike. While not groundbreaking and rather juvenile, The Campaign is a fun romp, and those especially with a penchant for politics will find it enjoyable.

Democratic Representative Cam Brady of North Carolina is charismatic, well-groomed, and everything limousine liberal politicians are hated for (hypocrisy, adultery, etc.). Of course, he's kept a good job of hiding the skeletons in his closet, until he finds himself challenged by Republican tour guide and devout Christian, Marty Huggins. Backed by his wealthy father, a smooth campaign manager (played wonderfully by Dylan McDermott) and two corrupt businessmen who want to use his newfound clout to bring Chinese industry to NC. But as Marty plays dirty politics, and Cam's personal life spins out of control, the Huggins' begin to suffer the effects of negative media scrutiny. Just like in real life, we don't know for long until election day rolls around, and the fates decide who ultimately gets the job.

There's a lot to like about The Campaign, and I feel like it's biggest selling point is the prodding it makes at the absurd state of politics in America right now. However, a lot of it is Ferrell and Galfinakis' usual brand of sophomoric, obnoxious humor. Some may already find it getting long in the tooth. Others, especially those who are fans of Funny or Die should feel right at home. As one who also appreciates meta-fiction, it was fun to see renowned news figures make cameos to provide their two cents on the candidates antics. Overall, it's a fun film, but realize what you're getting yourself into, should you decide to see it.

7/10

Peace,
- Jon

MOVIE REVIEW: The Dark Knight Rises (2012) + some thoughts on the shooting

This past Saturday, I walked into a packed AMC with three security guards keeping watch at the ticket booths. Perhaps relieving to some after the events of this past weekend, though it was hard sitting down and trying not to think about what happened. Ultimately, I let myself go with the film. I can attest that it fulfilled it's purpose; we go to the movies in order to escape the pressures of the day. Even though The Dark Knight Rises is a gritty, violent thriller, it's a story of good versus evil at it's core. What happened in Aurora was an unfortunate and tragic consequence, and at this stage in the game, I feel like enough has been said as far as gun control in the United States. There's still a lot of questions that need answering, but it's important that I move on.

Eight years after the death of Harvey Dent and Joker's reign of terror, a new villain surfaces in the form of Bane, and Commissioner Gordon struggles to keep crime under control. After the previous film's events, Bruce Wayne is reduced to a near-recluse with a limp, until he encounters a new adversary in the form of "cat burglar," Selina Kyle. Eventually, while pursuing Kyle, Wayne crosses paths with Bane and learns that he has an even grander scheme to destroy Gotham than ever before. However, conflicts both personal and formidable prove daunting to Wayne, even for this installment.

This is perhaps the darkest of the Dark Knight Trilogy, second sequels usually are. And with strong film sagas, this film had a tough act to follow with it's predecessor's first-class production. The story had some strong twists and continued Christopher Nolan's excellent tradition of bringing great character development to the series. Action sequences are not as plentiful as in the previous film, but come in short, exciting bursts. Production values were absolutely strong across the board.

Acting was solid; the reprising characters continued their roles in fine form. Bane is one of the more interesting villains I've seen in a film; he's a dangerous combination of brains and brawn, looks like Darth Vader crossed with Steve Austin, and sounds like Patrick Stewart doing a bad, garbled impersonation of Albert Einstein. Anne Hathaway stole the show for me as Catwoman, sure, I probably have a thing for her, but it's the restrained sexiness and cunning wit that won me over. She's one of the best things about the show.

Ultimately, I can't say if Rises is going to be a standalone classic, but it's a fitting conclusion to arguably the best comic-book superhero trilogy in film history. And in case you were wondering, I personally think it may be slightly better than this year's box-office behemoth The Avengers, because of the more dramatic tone of the story.

9/10

Peace, and God bless the families in Aurora, Colorado.
- Jon

MOVIE REVIEW: Ted (2012)

Some of my friends have grown weary of Seth MacFarlane, saying "Family Guy" is no longer funny and several of his other TV exploits are equally perfunctory. Thankfully, the man had the good sense to transition into film this year; with a concept I was instantly sold on - a foul-mouthed teddy bear who gets stoned, drinks, and picks up women. What could a guy not possibly love? It's a unique twist on the "bromance vs. romance"-type of story that doesn't quite escape the cliche'd trappings, but is fresh and enjoyable take on what happens when the characters of an innocent, childhood fable grow up. This, ladies and gentleman, is Ted.

On Christmas Day, 1985, a young, lonely Boston boy named John is given a teddy bear by his parents. Having no friends to call his own, he names the bear "Ted" and makes a wish that his bear could talk. His wish is granted and the now-inexplicably anthropomorphic Ted becomes an overnight celebrity, making rounds on the talk-show circuit but remaining a consistent source of companionship to John, and the two become best friends. Flash forward to 27 years later, John works as a clerk for a rental car company, is in a four-year relationship with an advertising exec named Lori, and still lives with Ted. Over the years, Ted has picked up a penchant for partying, smoking a bong, watching bad movies, and bringing hookers back to the apartment, much to Lori's chagrin. She gives John an ultimatum: Kick Ted out, or she'll kick herself out; something the two best buds have difficulty dealing with.

As earlier stated, Ted is a typical story of "bromance vs. romance" wrapped in a fluffy, fuzzy package (...that sounded odd...). This gives the film an unfortunate sense of predictability that it doesn't shake throughout the entire run, but that doesn't stop it from being entertaining. Seth MacFarlane's crude, oddball humor thankfully outweighs the cliches. Some jokes fall flat, but most of them work. It's the concept that I'm really enamored with, and the performances from the cast are strong enough to carry the story through the bumps. There's an interesting twist/subplot towards the end that involves Ted getting himself into serious danger. It made me kind of wish the film based it's story more around that sort of structure, but for the most part, I was happy with the result (and the fact I only spent $5 for a ticket).

I had a difficult time rating Ted, because the more I dwelled upon the film, the more I felt better about it. I think it's just that I'm so enamored by the concept, that I'm allowing it to let me forgive some of it's more glaring flaws. Could Ted have been better? Sure. Is it enjoyable and entertaining? Absolutely!

...And how can I forget the Thunder Song:

8/10

Peace,
- Jon

MOVIE REVIEW: The Artist (2011)

Vintage cinema rarely resurfaces and becomes an outright hit, and that's perhaps one of the reasons why some people (or film snobs, if you will) who I know saw The Artist were scratching their heads when the film won Best Picture at this year's Academy Awards. I'm happy to report that the honors the film has received over the past year are undisputably deserved. The film is much more than a revisionist gimmick that employs a now-obsolete silent-filmmaking technique; it is a comment on the changing social structure of the time, amidst the advent of modern technology. In this case, the catalyst is sound in film, or "talking pictures." And while the film is unsurprisingly thin on plot, I find it simply amazing that the director made a choice to aesthetically revive the old techniques of the silent era.

In 1927, George Valentin is the top actor in silent film, in Hollywood. Soon he meets Peppy Miller, a budding starlet who is about to transition into "talking pictures" at the advent of the sound era. Like many others of the time, George dismisses "talkies" as a mere novelty with little artistic merit, but the innovation takes Hollywood by storm and while Peppy's career skyrockets, George's stagnates in light of the changing times. It's a simple story about tradition, and ultimately redemption.

And aside from the story, this is a meticulously shot picture that duplicates so many elements of silent film to a tee, right down to opening credits, that it has a great "like-you-were-there"-kind of quality. The music also plays an important role, being one of the only "sounds" the audience can actually depend upon. The composer does a wonderful job by utilizing the score to heighten moods and emphasize some of the physical comedy. Being a silent film, the creators have the added challenge of stretching the actors beyond words and depending on physicality and subtle imagery in order to get a point across. It pays off, mostly because while it's not Chaplin or Keaton, the slapstick is very restrained and sensible. Most especially enjoyable are the moments between George and his precocious dog.

As much as everything in The Artist is brilliant, the plot itself is nothing new. It's simply a revisiting of the typical "rise-and-fall" story in the context of a revisited film technique, augmented thematically by the film's intentional technical limitations. That doesn't mean the film is any less enjoyable, just don't go in expecting a completely original story. Although, overall, it was a treat to see The Artist as a new entry in revisionist cinema. I definitely plan on watching it again.

9/10

Peace,
- Jon

MOVIE REVIEW: Prometheus (2012)

The biggest controversy surrounding Ridley Scott's latest, Prometheus, is if the film is really a prequel to Alien or not. The best answer I can give while trying to ride a fine-line of spoiling too much is: "There's strong evidence that the film is a prequel to Alien"). Not that I was dying to know while watching it, but the films do share commonality with the notable plot points that occured in Alien. While Prometheus wasn't really anything groundbreaking for me, I still enjoyed it for thought-provoking entertainment.

A team of scientists stumble upon evidence linking early human civilizations to one another, in spite of existing in different areas of the globe. They track the message to a jungle planet, and encounter an underwater cave that was once populated by an alien species who happen to be the true ancestors of homo sapiens. But as with all science, the team has lots of questions and little answers, and the consequence of curiosity happens to manifest by some deadly encounters and turncoat conspiracies.

This was a hard film for me to rate; the production values for Prometheus are top notch, but why oh why did the story take such an ambiguous lull by the film's third act? The most obvious answer might be "so that they can have a sequel." Yet, for me, there was so much build up and potential for the film to bank on making me walk away shaken and stirred about the fate of humanity, that instead, I only felt "hmm, that was cool!" My other guess is along the way, the studio shaved off a few minutes of plot, as what often happens with Mr. Scott's work. An extended cut on DVD seems very possible down the line, and could rectify the loose ends. I'm not saying every film needs to explain for itself, but with Prometheus, the story and premise were so fascinating that it almost seemed necessary.

On the plus side, Prometheus has a lot of aesthetic appeal going for it. The unmistakable H.R. Geiger set designs evoke that unsettling, organic feel that made the Alien saga so cool. The suspense and special effects are handled very subtly and conservatively; there are certainly enough moments in the film that will impress and shock at the same time, perhaps even both. I predict at least an award nomination or two in the effects or art department, come next spring.

Finally, if you have any reason to see a film in 3D, I'm happy to report that Prometheus is absolutley worth it! You don't necessarily miss out on any "money shots" by seeing it in 2D, but Scott keeps the effects subtle, much like Avatar. Here where the atmosphere, holographic computer screens and other elements of these strange new worlds manifest. Where some films you end up spending over $10, and the effects are far and few in-between, Prometheus features constant atmospheric effects that bring a strong vividness to the picture. Definitely worth checking out.

7/10

Peace,
- Jon