The New Zodiac or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying, Because It Doesn't Really Matter

I'm very amused by this whole "New Zodiac" business. I came home from work to find a number of my friends on Facebook flipping out because they now have a new Zodiac sign. So I did a little research, and discovered that there's even a new sign itself: "Ophiuchus". More on that, later. Since my birthday is on August 16th, I'm still a Leo. But does it really make a difference?

According to a blog on Time, and a couple of other sources I checked out here and here, it appears all this craziness started because some scientists made big news about the Moon's gravitational pull shifting the Earth's position from the stars. This means that the Zodiac is off by a month or so. As the Minnesota Star-Tribune says (and I blatantly plagiarize from one of my sources):

The ancient Babylonians based zodiac signs on the constellation the sun was "in" on the day a person was born. During the ensuing millenniums, the moon's gravitational pull has made the Earth "wobble" around its axis, creating about a one-month bump in the stars' alignment.

And on top of that, astrologers want to add a 13th sign to the mix: "Ophiuchus, the Serpent-Bearer". He looks a little something like this:

Hmm, really BA? Or sexually suggestive? The jury's out on my end. Apparently, his story is that the ancient Babylonians threw his sign out of the mix because they only wanted twelve of them to begin with. I'm still bewildered by this reasoning, but then again, it's astrology.

Now realistically, how much does this really matter? Some of the sources I saw mentioned the new Zodiac only applies to those born after 2009 since that was when it was agreed upon. Others seem to really be buying into it (and maybe I'm guilty as charged for blogging about it). Nevertheless, TRUE science has shown there is absolutely no correlation between the stars and your personality. Unless your like some of my friends who have been saying the changes have stripped them of any excuse to be stubborn, grouchy, or any of the negative traits they scapegoat the Zodiac on. And that's why people care about the Zodiac, because we need something to explain the quirks of our personality and rely on horoscopes to lead us in some arbitrary direction of positive reinforcement, utilizing the good traits of the sign we fall under. Most of the time, that's all Zodiac signs are: GOOD TRAITS! Who wants to fall under a sign that characterizes themselves collectively as stubborn, grouchy, unnatractive, and lazy?

In that case, there's always the opinion of Weird Al Yancovic (with animation by AlbinoBlackSheep)...

The new signs are as follows:

Capricorn: Jan. 20-Feb. 16.
Aquarius: Feb. 16-March 11.
Pisces: March 11-April 18.
Aries: April 18-May 13.
Taurus: May 13-June 21.
Gemini: June 21-July 20.
Cancer: July 20-Aug. 10.
Leo: Aug. 10-Sept. 16.
Virgo: Sept. 16-Oct. 30.
Libra: Oct. 30-Nov. 23.
Scorpio: Nov. 23-29.
Ophiuchus: Nov. 29-Dec. 17.
Sagittarius: Dec. 17-Jan. 20.

Still discouraged about your new sign? Don't worry, there's always the Chinese, elemental, and natural signs to think about.

Peace,
- Jon